If you have a boy, he's going to pee on everything.
He will pee on your hand.
He will pee on himself, more specifically, his face.
He will pee on the dog.
He will pee on the cat.
He will pee in the tub, and if he's like my son, he will laugh as he's doing it.
Your child will always poop when you least expect it.
They will have an explosion in the car.
In the bathtub.
They'll probably even poop on the carpet when you let them run down the hallway to their room.
You will have to change their outfit more than twice in one day because, you guessed it, it will be covered in poop.
Your child will try to eat everything.
Old Cheerios found in the couch.
Things you can't even identify what the heck they are.
Your little one is going to hurt you, I promise.
They will poke you in the eye.
Stick they're fingers up your nose.
Jam them into your mouth.
They'll hit you.
And they will always, always poke you in the eyes to wake you up while you're asleep next to them.
Along with the good comes the bad, the hysterical, and the nerve racking, the unexpected, and the joy. Just when you think you've got this parenting thing down, they're going to throw you throw a loop. I promise, no I guarantee, it'll happen to you.